The Procrastinator's Creed

(For a very good friend and fellow procrastinaritis-afflicted one:)

1. I believe that if anything is worth doing, it would have been done already.
2. I shall never move quickly, except to avoid more work or find excuses.
3. I will never rush into a job without a lifetime of consideration.
4. I shall meet all of my deadlines directly in proportion to the amount of bodily injury I could expect to receive from missing them.
5. I firmly believe that tomorrow holds the possibility for new technologies, astounding discoveries, and a reprieve from my obligations.
6. I truly believe that all deadlines are unreasonable regardless of the amount of time given.
7. I shall never forget that the probability of a miracle, though infinitesmally small, is not exactly zero.
8. If at first I don't succeed, there is always next year.
9. I shall always decide not to decide, unless of course I decide to change my mind.
10. I shall always begin, start, initiate, take the first step, and/or write the first word, when I get around to it.
11. I obey the law of inverse excuses which demands that the greater the task to be done, the more insignificant the work that must be done prior to beginning the greater task.
12. I know that the work cycle is not plan/start/finish, but is wait/plan/plan.
13. I will never put off until tomorrow, what I can forget about forever.
14. I will become a member of the ancient Order of Two-Headed Turtles (the Procrastinator's Society) if they ever get it organized.

Cheers! /Sebastian

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A Good Pun Is Its Own Reword!

Here's a new list for your indulgence!

Energizer Bunny arrested -- charged with battery.
A pessimist's blood type is always b-negative.
Practice safe eating -- always use condiments.
A Freudian slip: when you say one thing but mean your mother.
Shotgun wedding: A case of wife or death.
I used to work in a blanket factory, but it folded.
If electricity comes from electrons does that mean that morality comes from morons?
A hangover: the wrath of grapes.
Corduroy pillows: are making headlines.
A book on voyeurism: a peeping tome?
Dancing cheek-to-cheek is really a form of floor play.
Banning the bra: was a big flop.
Sea captains: don't like crew cuts.
Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?
Successful diet: the triumph of mind over platter.
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
A gossip: someone with a great sense of rumor.
Without geometry: life is pointless.
When you dream in color: it's a pigment of your imagination.
Condoms: should be used on every conceivable occasion.
Reading whilst sunbathing makes you: well-red.
When two egotists meet: it's an I for an I.
Alarms: What an octopus is.
Crick: The sound that a Japanese camera makes.
Dockyard: A physician's garden.
Incongruous: Where bills are passed.
Khakis: What you need to start the car in Boston.
Oboe: An English tramp.
Pasteurize: Too far to see.
Propaganda: A gentlemanly goose.
Toboggan: Why we go to an auction.
and finally,
Marriage: the mourning after the knot before.

A bit of levity

Just found this again in my fun archive...
(The original post including the comments appeared in a newsgroup a couple of years ago.)

The year's best [actual] headlines of 2004:

12 on their way to cruise among dead in plane crash
[Count me out!]

2 sisters reunited after 18 years at checkout counter
[They were definitely in the wrong lane]

Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
[That's what he gets for eating those beans!]

Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
[who would have thought!]

Complaints about NBA referees growing ugly
[Makeover time!]

Dealers will hear car talk at noon
[Yes Michael?]

Drunk gets nine months in violin case
[A harsh sentence!]

Enfield (London) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
[they may be on to something!]

Enraged cow injures farmer with ax
[It was him or me, your honour!]

Grandmother of eight makes hole in one
[They don't half start young these days]

Hershey bars protest
[What would you do if you were about to be eaten?]

Hospitals are Sued by Seven Foot Doctors
[Boy, are they tall!]

If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile
[you think?!]

Include your children when baking cookies
[Buy a bigger oven though.]

Iraqi head seeks arms
[Torso not found yet]

Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus?
[not if I wipe thoroughly!]

Juvenile Court toTry Shooting Defendant
[see if that works any better than a fair trial!]

Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
[Tastes like chicken?]

Killer sentenced to die for second time in 10 years
[Beware of the zombies!]

Lack of brains hinders research
[Or any cerebral activity, for that matter.]

Lawmen from mexico barbecue guests
[Pass the mustard please.]

Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
[Chainsaw Massacre all over again!]

Lung cancer in women mushrooms
[Something with the spores?]

Man Struck By Lightning Faces Battery Charge
[he probably IS the battery charge!]

Man eating piranha mistakenly sold as pet fish
[Give him an aqualung]

Milk drinkers are turning to powder
[Ashes to ashes]

Miners Refuse to Work after Death
[good-for-nothin' lazy so-and-sos!]

New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
[weren't they fat enough?!]

Old school pillars are replaced by alumni
[either that, or face unemployment]

Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
[what a guy!]

Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
[?!]

Prostitutes appeal to pope
[but not the other way around.]

Quarter of a million chinese live on water
[And bread?]

Queen Mary having bottom scraped
[Count me out]

Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
[you mean there's something stronger than duct tape?!]

Safety experts say school bus passengers should be belted
[How cruel]

Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
[no, really?]

Squad helps dog bite victim
[Add insult to injury]

Stolen painting found by tree
[The Whomping Willow]

Two soviet ships collide, one dies
[The other one lived to tell the tale]

War Dims Hope for Peace
[I can see where it might have that effect!]

And the winner is....
Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
(Can you believe it?)

SR P1-morgon: Computers the new eco-scoundrel? [SE/EN]

"Är datorn den nya miljöboven? (webbradio)

IT-användningen i världen påverkar klimatet nästan lika mycket som flygindustrin, det visar en ny rapport som Håkan Nordin, TCO development tagit fram. Vi har också besökt kontorsarbetare som förklarar varför de inte stänger av datorn när dom går på lunch eller möte."

Executive summary:
PCs may at first seem inconspicuous from an ecological point of view, but there are so terribly many of them so their energy consumption (which makes up 70% of the problem) is enormous in sum. According to some calculations, the climate impact of the world's IT use is nearly as large as that of air traffic!

In a new report by TCO Development, whose main author Håkan Nordin was interviewed in Swedish public radio this morning, a typical office computer spends as much as two months per year running in spite of not being used (while the human is having lunch, in meetings etc.).

A few tips for office users:

• Quite a lot of people obviously still believe that a screen saver saves energy. Sorry, that is complete nonsense: the computer is still running, as is the monitor, so they happily consume energy!
• Find and activate the energy-saving settings of your computer (most computers in question run Windows, and Windows positively has these settings)!
• Overcome your laziness... Do press the power switch on your monitor if you go away! Modern LCD displays take no longer than 1, 2 seconds to come on again once you are back.

For home users hunting for a new PC, Håkan Nordin recommends to pester the sellers with questions about the efficiency of the different models. A system with cheap, inefficient components may use up to 8 times as much energy as an equivalent efficient one!!

Also noteworthy: Another considerable part of the global IT consumption stems from the data centres feeding the internet.

A reason to be proud to be a European

As an engineer I feel particularly proud to be a European these days, seeing as our space agency, the ESA, has accomplished and is accomplishing an impressive feat with the launch of Jules Verne, the first of a series of ATVs (Automated Transfer Vehicles) -- space "trucks" bound for the International Space Station ISS -- and its preparations for rendezvous with the ISS, which is to occur come Thursday. It is heartening to see how flawlessly nearly everything has gone for the mission so far!

Follow the news in ESA's ATV special and see some of the coverage by Jonathan Amos of the BBC's Science division, for instance about the launch and about today's beautiful approach "dress rehearsal" (at the bottom of which you can see a live plot of the ATV's path over the earth!).

Now if that can't motivate me to try and do some similarly high-quality European science...

Obama speech

Last Tuesday, Barack Obama, the leading candidate in the Democrats' primaries for this year's US presidential election, gave a speech in Philadelphia, "A More Perfect Union", in which he took a critical stand on a questionable sermon of the former minister of his Chicago congregation, Reverend Jeremiah Wright.
I really think the speech is a noteworthy example of some of Obama's "philosophy" and even more than that, of his ability to express himself, both his rhethoric and eloquence, so I warmly recommend you to read and/or watch at least a part of it (you may not have enough patience for all of the 37 minutes) if you haven't done so yet!
What a joy it would be to have this man as the next US President, after the incumbent blundering, if and when not criminal, babbling baboon!! Here's crossing my fingers...

A new kind of tube radio... [DE]

Deutschlandradio Kultur: Das kleinste Radio der Welt ist ein Röhrenradio... ein Nanoröhrenradio! :-)

Castles in the Air

I read this the other day and found it very apt: “If you have built castles in the air, your work need not be lost. That is where they should be. Now put the foundation under them.” – Henry David Thoreau
Maybe it's a bit too verbose really to fit Miguel de Cervantes' observation: “An aphorism is a short sentence based on long experience”, but that doesn't lessen its value as food for thought.
There is nothing wrong with dreaming, as long as you don't stop at dreaming but strive to make the dreams come true -- that's what I've made out of it. Any more ideas?

Incipit

"At a blank sheet you can stare forever."

Hej, hello, hallo, my friends, family and pals!

As I was planning to start this blog I spent some thought on which language to write in.  Since I don't feel keen on awkwardly writing everything thrice (for my German-speaking, Swedish-speaking, and international readers), what I have now decided upon is to take lingua franca English as the default (what surprise!), but to liberally post, quote, or link to stuff in either language if the subject is mostly interesting for the speakers of that language anyway.  Hope that suits you all fine!
Other than that, the task for this post was mostly to overcome the barrier expressed in the first words: the harrowing experience of sitting in front of a blank sheet (or screen in this case) and not knowing what to write simply because I have not written anything on it yet!
Seems I have succeeded in that... so from now on you may expect to find new entries of mine here on a loosely regular basis. As noteworthy events come and go.
Cheers! /Sebastian