Wednesday 2 April 2008

A bit of levity

Just found this again in my fun archive...
(The original post including the comments appeared in a newsgroup a couple of years ago.)

The year's best [actual] headlines of 2004:

12 on their way to cruise among dead in plane crash
[Count me out!]

2 sisters reunited after 18 years at checkout counter
[They were definitely in the wrong lane]

Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
[That's what he gets for eating those beans!]

Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
[who would have thought!]

Complaints about NBA referees growing ugly
[Makeover time!]

Dealers will hear car talk at noon
[Yes Michael?]

Drunk gets nine months in violin case
[A harsh sentence!]

Enfield (London) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
[they may be on to something!]

Enraged cow injures farmer with ax
[It was him or me, your honour!]

Grandmother of eight makes hole in one
[They don't half start young these days]

Hershey bars protest
[What would you do if you were about to be eaten?]

Hospitals are Sued by Seven Foot Doctors
[Boy, are they tall!]

If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile
[you think?!]

Include your children when baking cookies
[Buy a bigger oven though.]

Iraqi head seeks arms
[Torso not found yet]

Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus?
[not if I wipe thoroughly!]

Juvenile Court toTry Shooting Defendant
[see if that works any better than a fair trial!]

Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
[Tastes like chicken?]

Killer sentenced to die for second time in 10 years
[Beware of the zombies!]

Lack of brains hinders research
[Or any cerebral activity, for that matter.]

Lawmen from mexico barbecue guests
[Pass the mustard please.]

Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
[Chainsaw Massacre all over again!]

Lung cancer in women mushrooms
[Something with the spores?]

Man Struck By Lightning Faces Battery Charge
[he probably IS the battery charge!]

Man eating piranha mistakenly sold as pet fish
[Give him an aqualung]

Milk drinkers are turning to powder
[Ashes to ashes]

Miners Refuse to Work after Death
[good-for-nothin' lazy so-and-sos!]

New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
[weren't they fat enough?!]

Old school pillars are replaced by alumni
[either that, or face unemployment]

Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
[what a guy!]

Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers

Prostitutes appeal to pope
[but not the other way around.]

Quarter of a million chinese live on water
[And bread?]

Queen Mary having bottom scraped
[Count me out]

Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
[you mean there's something stronger than duct tape?!]

Safety experts say school bus passengers should be belted
[How cruel]

Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
[no, really?]

Squad helps dog bite victim
[Add insult to injury]

Stolen painting found by tree
[The Whomping Willow]

Two soviet ships collide, one dies
[The other one lived to tell the tale]

War Dims Hope for Peace
[I can see where it might have that effect!]

And the winner is....
Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
(Can you believe it?)

SR P1-morgon: Computers the new eco-scoundrel? [SE/EN]

"Är datorn den nya miljöboven? (webbradio)

IT-användningen i världen påverkar klimatet nästan lika mycket som flygindustrin, det visar en ny rapport som Håkan Nordin, TCO development tagit fram. Vi har också besökt kontorsarbetare som förklarar varför de inte stänger av datorn när dom går på lunch eller möte."

Executive summary:
PCs may at first seem inconspicuous from an ecological point of view, but there are so terribly many of them so their energy consumption (which makes up 70% of the problem) is enormous in sum. According to some calculations, the climate impact of the world's IT use is nearly as large as that of air traffic!

In a new report by TCO Development, whose main author Håkan Nordin was interviewed in Swedish public radio this morning, a typical office computer spends as much as two months per year running in spite of not being used (while the human is having lunch, in meetings etc.).

A few tips for office users:
  • Quite a lot of people obviously still believe that a screen saver saves energy. Sorry, that is complete nonsense: the computer is still running, as is the monitor, so they happily consume energy!
  • Find and activate the energy-saving settings of your computer (most computers in question run Windows, and Windows positively has these settings)!
  • Overcome your laziness... Do press the power switch on your monitor if you go away! Modern LCD displays take no longer than 1, 2 seconds to come on again once you are back.
For home users hunting for a new PC, Håkan Nordin recommends to pester the sellers with questions about the efficiency of the different models. A system with cheap, inefficient components may use up to 8 times as much energy as an equivalent efficient one!!

Also noteworthy: Another considerable part of the global IT consumption stems from the data centres feeding the internet.