Just found this again in my fun archive...
(The original post including the comments appeared in a newsgroup a couple of years ago.)
The year's best [actual] headlines of 2004:
12 on their way to cruise among dead in plane crash
[Count me out!]
2 sisters reunited after 18 years at checkout counter
[They were definitely in the wrong lane]
Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
[That's what he gets for eating those beans!]
Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
[who would have thought!]
Complaints about NBA referees growing ugly
[Makeover time!]
Dealers will hear car talk at noon
[Yes Michael?]
Drunk gets nine months in violin case
[A harsh sentence!]
Enfield (London) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
[they may be on to something!]
Enraged cow injures farmer with ax
[It was him or me, your honour!]
Grandmother of eight makes hole in one
[They don't half start young these days]
Hershey bars protest
[What would you do if you were about to be eaten?]
Hospitals are Sued by Seven Foot Doctors
[Boy, are they tall!]
If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile
[you think?!]
Include your children when baking cookies
[Buy a bigger oven though.]
Iraqi head seeks arms
[Torso not found yet]
Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus?
[not if I wipe thoroughly!]
Juvenile Court toTry Shooting Defendant
[see if that works any better than a fair trial!]
Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
[Tastes like chicken?]
Killer sentenced to die for second time in 10 years
[Beware of the zombies!]
Lack of brains hinders research
[Or any cerebral activity, for that matter.]
Lawmen from mexico barbecue guests
[Pass the mustard please.]
Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
[Chainsaw Massacre all over again!]
Lung cancer in women mushrooms
[Something with the spores?]
Man Struck By Lightning Faces Battery Charge
[he probably IS the battery charge!]
Man eating piranha mistakenly sold as pet fish
[Give him an aqualung]
Milk drinkers are turning to powder
[Ashes to ashes]
Miners Refuse to Work after Death
[good-for-nothin' lazy so-and-sos!]
New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
[weren't they fat enough?!]
Old school pillars are replaced by alumni
[either that, or face unemployment]
Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
[what a guy!]
Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
[?!]
Prostitutes appeal to pope
[but not the other way around.]
Quarter of a million chinese live on water
[And bread?]
Queen Mary having bottom scraped
[Count me out]
Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
[you mean there's something stronger than duct tape?!]
Safety experts say school bus passengers should be belted
[How cruel]
Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
[no, really?]
Squad helps dog bite victim
[Add insult to injury]
Stolen painting found by tree
[The Whomping Willow]
Two soviet ships collide, one dies
[The other one lived to tell the tale]
War Dims Hope for Peace
[I can see where it might have that effect!]
And the winner is....
Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
(Can you believe it?)
1 comment:
Hysterically funny. And remember; when I'm watching blogs I'm not really working so an eventual misspelling is to be expected. As long as I don't teach my students the wrong ones ;-)
*ROFLMAO* I think my students would write. I'll tell you later what it means unless you already know.
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